so, today i took medicine i should be taking daily, but have instead been hiding them. generic A.D.D. meds.

"mixed amphetamine tabs" -The Bottle

at first i was okay for the morning, i think it actually helped me get up and out the door on time. i talked to some friends for the first time in awhile and i thought "huh, maybe the meds won't make me depressed."

Second period rolled around and I'd been feeling a little jittery/shakey/weird for a half hour. At this time I grow hostile and turn down those trying to make light humor near me with insults. Ryan pointed out that i scared him like that, it helped me notice my patience was little, i was very irritable, and i could sense that my gaze on Ryan must have appeared to grow scornful, although i could not help it. compare this to my usual friendly, carefree manner with a live and let live outlook on life.

At fourth period i talked about it with Ryan over a game of magic. another friend (bigger, stronger, football player i think) snapped his fingers in my face, when he overheard how i was, to provoke me."FUCK YOU!" i snarled in rage for the first time anyone can recall, before then i had only used it in mild frustration for games and the like. they left me to myself for the rest of the period. Made comments like "He looked like he was seriously ready to fight him". I'm not sure exactly how right they were.

the rest of the day i simply wanted to glue my mouth shut where it was comfortable. i didn't want to speak at all. just sit and think. seeing a 90% on my physics TAKS benchmark made me a little arrogant and uppity because the next highest was an 83. class average: 68%

somewhere in the day, late, i came down and felt normal for about a half hour, after that i just got lower. Still upset, hostile, and now, down.
At the end of the day, i made a mental note to apologize to Robert (big guy) and a few others for my behavior.